Comparison

Remember the ad when one lady says  'उसकी साड़ी मेरी साड़ी से सफ़ेद कैसे ?' ..... It all starts by comparing. Comparison is the best way to find how any product/item/person stands among the rest. We all know that nobody and nothing in this world is perfect! So we can compare things and find out what is better for us.

Constant comparison makes one to seek perfection. If you are not compared to anything you won't feel the drive to become better in something. This is one aspect of comparison.

Second is that if someone is constantly compared (by others or by self) with somebody better say X then that person tends to try to become like X and if not able to achieve that the that person is susceptible to become depressed and jealous of X.

Comparison often brews jealousy.

We can compare products/items/movies  to  one another but not  people because every individual is unique and no one in this world is perfect ! One can seek perfection but can never attain it. Even when  products are launched in market they are not 100% efficient or 100% error free. So just look up to the people who are better  in things than you and get inspired and not jealous that is a better way to become better :)  and happy                                                                         

Double Standards

Double standards which is known as दोहरे मापदंड in Hindi seem to be unconsciously in every individual's mind and each one of us have used them at some point of time. This is one more aspect of human mind.

How much ever we think we are open minded, we tend to use them somewhere or other :)

If I do 'that' its right but if someone else does 'that' its wrong!! This is the basic funda of double standards. Following are some examples which I realized while thinking about this topic.

When there is racial abuse to an Indian anywhere in the world, people in India get all anxious and speak out in one voice to protest but in India itself people are divided, do not like 'outsiders' who are no doubt Indians but not from their state., and would not think twice to outcast them. This was one example of if I may say 'mass double standards'. 
You are standing in a line and some one cuts it, reaches to the counter first and then you grumble, get irritated and sometimes go and shout at that person; some other time you have to go and stand in a line and somehow you get to cut the line and reach the counter and then you hear people grumbling and you say whats the big deal?? take a chill pill!!! (Rings a bell does it???)

The world is getting smaller day by day, no distance is far so people move to different places to earn better livelihood. People leave their homeland and migrate elsewhere for better prospects, no harm in that but if someone else comes to their native for a job then there is a problem, they don't like it. They feel that their homeland is being exploited by people for their own interests but they do not realize that what they are doing is no different. What an irony!

Sometimes at work, or in a group there will be one or two people who would not do 'something' (which may have not good aftermaths) but they would not miss a chance to encourage others to do that. Not fair isn't it??

This blog may not have been written with great examples but what I want to convey is that people should respect others and should not be judgmental every-time since they themselves might have done some acts which would not have been right according to their own perspective.

Friendship...

Its not very easy to find true friends in the time where we have competition in each nook of world. Be it a kid or a grown up to find real good friends it takes time. A person becomes friend by chance, one cannot make friends..friendship just happens. There are times when you tend to meet people specially in new place and then you think that they are your friends but no they are just acquaintances. It is the need which makes you interact and not the feeling. And to feel that they are friends is a big mistake which one gradually realizes. There is  no harm in hanging out with acquaintances coz sometimes they too become good friends since some people take time to open up and once they do  you sometimes get the best of friends. There are people who tend to talk to you, be nice to you but it is for their own interests which are hidden and emerge later on. How to identify such people?

• They are too sweet to you (too much sugar spoils the tea)
• They pretend to hear you actually are scanning through you (is she gullible?  guess she has got some influence! lol )
• They show unnecessary concern over small things ( I was so upset that you did not reply to my scrap)
• They act as if you are the world for them ( I missed you so much! (Its been jus 1 day we didnt meet!))
• Once their interests are gone, they would not care less about you. (Hi long time how are you ? ok then bye!)

The points stated above may not be the ONLY ones. One should not struggle to become someones friend coz friendship is effortless.
Being good friends with people of same frequency can be some of the best times. So lets have a healthy, selfless, fun filled friendship :))

Expectations

Why do we have expectations?? Why does it hurt when they are not met ?? Then why do we always have them....!! Its a vicious cycle. Everyone expects something from someone. I am yet to meet a person who has no expectations what so ever! But yes there is one good thing that not everyone has the same level of expectations. People tend to hurt themselves due to these. So the question is why do we have them in the first place. This is something to do with human psychology. Every individual is here dependent on someone or the other for some reason. No one in this world can function independently. What I mean is every person has a reason to be dependent; a boss on his subordinates for work completion, husband on wife (and vice versa) for household chores and or emotional support so on and so forth...and hence we kind of expect from the people around whom we are dependent on for things which may not be as important to them. Now when the expectations are high the person will not be happy as they are never met, or if  expectations are from wrong person, eventually the level of well being deteriorates. The best way to cope up is not to have many expectations and do our duties happily. Having minimal expectations from others will not only keep us from being unhappy, it also reduces the 'load' on persons struggling to keep up to them. Doing our duties happily and willfully (with no or minimum expectations from others) as an employee or boss or husband or wife or sibling will make us a lot better and this world a better place with one less thing to crib about - EXPECTATIONS :)